I spent two years of my life in a terrible relationship. Perhaps it wasn't the greatest dating decision I've ever made in my life, but now I am a lot happier, stronger person.
Phrases like "but I learned something" and "I'm a stronger person because of it" always remind of the losing sports teams that get cited for having "lots of character." It's a nice way of saying that you lost.
But, of course, not in my case, right? I have tons of character. Anyway, I digress.
I survived situations I could have never imagined in my wildest dreams and because of those experiences I now know that I can do anything I put my mind to.
Once I was able to safely leave the relationship I immediately moved away to avoid any emotional relapse. I failed (cue more character growth). For at least six months after I moved I continued to be in his life, I continued to be his crutch.
But as the months went on I began to feel bitter and angry at both myself and him. Yes, he treated me like I was disposable, but I allowed him to, hell I enabled him to.
The more bitter I got, the ruder I became until one day I knew I couldn't talk to him anymore. I had to cut him out of my life completely because if I didn't and I continued to be bitter and rude toward him then I would be desecrating any resemblance of the caring relationship we once had.
And yes, caring is a relative term.
The day I decided to let him go from my life was the happiest I've ever been. I felt so light, physically and emotionally, as if years of stress were sloughing off, leaving me a new person.
If I had chosen to keep him in my life then I would have been choosing to stay bitter and angry. Sometimes the greatest therapy is separation. Being bitter would only have hindered my life, not his.
I would have been carrying the burden of his choices, rather than making my own. People should check their baggage at the door and just enjoy their lives.
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